Why do Chinese people hate Christmas? Because they make the toys.
ever heard of rape jokes? no? well, i'll MAKE you hear em!
RAPE 9/11 ABORTION ORPHAN MURDER DEAD KILL DRUGS what makes all these categories so familiar? either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
ever wondered how jesus got rid of the cross that killed him? burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
i was trying to make homemade baby powder until i realized it isn't made from babies , oops wrong ingredient ... smh
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade curd.
ur hairline go far back ur mom scareed ur nt going to make friends
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said...... Cuckoo coo chew#Owl🦉
want to know something jason and michael myers had to watch there family while they have to live forever thats why they kill there trying to make people expreience what they did.
Why is hangman always done in black ink? To make it more realistic
One time, I was making a caramel apple
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy he started crying and I said stand up for you self
Some guy: making a sandwich
Me: rages to put the ham in
I can make a living with the Treat Yo self budget
Yet I can’t use the Help yo self budget
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear
btw friend here also wants to do suicide
friend:why did i cross the road??? me:to get to the other side. friend:true!
friend:hey lets go hang out at the forest today! me:ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* friend:hey atleast we did it!
friend:whats the best thing about me? me:you will eventually end. friend:hmmmmmm . . . true!
friend:what historical time influenced you the most? me:the great depression
if i could be an object id be glass because im see through and i can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!
my parents sometimes say im their sunshine! . . . because im painful if you look at me.
teacher:what does km/s mean? me+like almost all of the class:*in unison* it means kill myself but misspelled
friend:whats the best way to end a game? me:with death friend: . . . hmmm now that you think about it yeah! thats the best way!
when your about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you cant litter there
google says that your about 75% water but im make of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress
brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more
how do you keep weeds away? just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. problem solved.
when you take antidepressants but they dont work it will just make you more depressed and thats a fact
a bored depressed suicidal person:*sees a dying person* dying person:p-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* bored depressed suicidal person:hmmmm ur an ambulance dying person:*manages to get back up* bored depressed suicidal person:oooooohh goddddd dying person:*in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~
roses are red inside im dead i have crippling depression some one pls shoot my head
when you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they dont you:*panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*
the only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself
a made up story starting now so i went to school as usual theres a school shooting all the depressed suicidal people:*crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME a made up story starting ending
in this one the friend isnt suicidal friend:wanna play a game? me:life wait no a game has a meaning friend: . . . *crickets* friend:calls suicide hotline me:wait no!!!!!
me:*has crippling depression* *asks mom why i was born* mom:hmmm i think i was drunk and on a lotta drugs me:hmmm tysm *gets the rope* mom:*making hanging puns* me:*hurries to the trash truck*
me:at this point ive lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that i dont struggle with it now, im good at it and its all normal
hope you enjoyed
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy
I'd make an emo joke but that would be cutting a little too close.
Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: we threw your tea in the ocean. 💀
British people making offensive jokes about America: our towers didn’t explode.😎
