why cant an orphan make a home run in baseball because they have no home to go to
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
Are you a hotdog stand? Causw you make my hotdog stand ;)
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
I am a racist and i put my milk before cereal...well, to be honest that was when i had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some...then he left. Now when i see a black guy, I yell "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt"
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
