I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun? Musical electric chairs.
What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents
Two wongs don’t make a white
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priest?
Because they blow up in your face.
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
My father always used to say:
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Until the accident.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner and then you realize you are the mom.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Wade. You're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not. I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
your mama's so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind
I’m autistic and I don’t approve of you guys making fun of the 75,000,000 other people
I would like to make a minecraft joke...
It would be to Plain
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
@DreamBlue
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr colin, who loves making a din, he thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, that's not what everyone shows, about his life he ploughs and ploughs, about his dog bella and his relation-ship woes... mr colin, we do not care, when you speak, our minds are not there, your life you have unnecessarily shared, when we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr colin, rumbling about his exceptions, just when someone puts something in the bin, or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, but Mr Colin, drinking too much gin, will flail all his annoying attention on him, he'll push his limits, right to the rim... And just how i love flan~ Oh he's finally gone~
@DreamBlue
