Make jokes
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
What do you call people that make retarded jokes?
You.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!