Make a jokes
I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
Little Johnny when he makes a Uranus joke:
Little Johnny: I have achieved comedy! 😂😂😂😂😂
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
When God had to take a shit from making a good wife, you pasted between his ass cheeks...
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.