Made jokes
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
Your nana gay, just like you, and you're made of atoms, nerd.
How are urinals made?
They get installed.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?
Thank a Roo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
You're so fat that you were the iceberg that made the Titanic sink.
Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.