Made jokes
The last time I ever made a joke was just now.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0
This is not a joke; this is just about death...
They made a movie about 9/11.
It was a big hit.
Why is willb103 so funny?!!
Because he made the joke home page!!!
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
Gwen, are you mad at me? Cause that was a faker.
Like the faker Gwen?
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
Where are fart bombs made?
Old people's arses!
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
What is a Mexican's favorite sport??
Cross country because they don't need to be in America. Mexico was made for them.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"