Love jokes
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES space?
Snoop Star.
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because they loved dropping BASS.
Memes
bro they got a better love story than me
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
Emos love jumping for joy.
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.
ANYONE?
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)