Love jokes
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
Who likes Fortnite? Gwen Stacy is in the game, let's goooooo! I love her!
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!
Try not to <3.
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
Who loves walnut? Wallace!
Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!
Ur mom loves to eat logs, lmao.
As we speak now, someone is making arrangements for December with your girlfriend.
"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.
Orphan: I love abcdefu!
Caretaker: Why? You don't have anyone to flip off.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."