Love

Love jokes

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Soda

    • Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.

    Coin

    • A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

    She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

    Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

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    Love memes

    KFC

    • Person 1: "I love KFC."

    Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

    Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

    Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

    Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

    Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

    Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

    Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

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    Something

    • Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."

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    • Bar

    • A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

    Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

    Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

    "Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

    Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

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    Guy

    • Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?

    Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.

    Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.

    Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<

    Guy 1: Like I do care :$

    Guy 3: But I do care :<

    Guy 1: F*ck you.

    Guy 3: Do it.

    Guy 2: But you do care about me.

    Guy 3: No.

    Guy 2: F*ck you.

    Guy 3: Do it.

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

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    Tattoo

    • (amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

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    Heart

    • Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!

    Christmas

    • A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.

    On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."

    On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.

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    Relationship

    • Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

    Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.

    Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

    Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

    Karien: That is so boring!

    Daiana: Well just work with me please?

    Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!

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