Love jokes

Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

She replies, "Really original."

Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

She replies, "Ew, gross."

Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

Winner dog 3.

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?

Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Gwen, I thought you would be with me if Prince broke up with you... :((((((

Hey Gwen, let's chat from 1:00 p.m. to 2:00! Love, Prince 🌹

This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.

Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?

They both jump in the toilet!

"Herishy, me lava u, why did u leave mee? Wahh wahh baby sharka, doodle do to to babyyy cutie pie..."

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)

What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?

The second-hand book was loved once.

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

They don’t cook because they love eating out.

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

Thomas Bulgin loves McDonald's dollars, A man of simple tastes, he hollers, With every visit, his heart does flutter, For golden arches, a fast food lover.

Those crispy fries, so perfectly fried, And burgers stacked, oh so high, The smell of grease, it fills the air, Thomas Bulgin, he'll always be there.

A dollar menu, his saving grace, A feast for him, a smile on his face, He counts his coins, with eager eyes, To savor each bite, a little prize.

In this world of fast-paced lives, Thomas Bulgin, he surely thrives, For in those golden arches, he finds, A moment of joy, that forever binds.

He cares not for gourmet cuisine, Nor fancy plates, fit for a queen, For in his heart, a simple truth, McDonald's dollars, his fountain of youth.

So let him eat, and let him feast, Thomas Bulgin, the fast food beast, For in those golden arches, he's found, A taste of happiness, unbound.

If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."