Love jokes

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

I love big hot sexy men.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

Why do orphans love chips?

Because they're all family sized.

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.

Why? He loved to play with the little balls.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

🤔 What does BLM stand for? Blacks Love Masturbation 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ 😀 👍 👍