Love jokes

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?

Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.

Why? He loved to play with the little balls.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

🤔 What does BLM stand for? Blacks Love Masturbation 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ 😀 👍 👍

Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?

Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

My love life.