Love jokes

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had its ion someone else.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don’t work out.

I finally got a girlfriend.

Her name is Remington Model 32.

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

Why do orphans love chips?

Because they're all family sized.

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

Gf: Hi.

Bf: Hi.

Gf: Did you eat yet?

Bf: Did you eat yet?

Gf: Are you copying me?

Bf: Are you coping me??

Gf: I love you.

Bf: Yeah, I ate already.

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.

Why? He loved to play with the little balls.

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

🤔 What does BLM stand for? Blacks Love Masturbation 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ 😀 👍 👍

Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?

Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."