Love jokes
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
"You only get offended because it's true"
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
I love big hot sexy men.
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Boy: Hey! I love you...
Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.
*boy sent a pic of his dic*
Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!
Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.