Love

Love jokes

Gambler

  • The IRS came to this man's house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money that's been coming in and out of his bank account. So the man thought, "Maybe I need to get a lawyer." So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down, and the agent said, "There has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account, and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it." The man says, "Yes, I do. I'm a gambler." The agent says, "You gamble with that much money?" The man says, "Yes, I'll give you an example. Alright, I bet you $5,000 that I can bite my left eye." Agent says, "Alright, deal." The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. Then the agent says, "That's not fair." The man says, "I'll let you get your money back, or even more. I bet you $7,500 I can bite my right eye." The agent, thinking, "I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick," so the agent says, "Deal." The man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye. The agent then says, "That's not fair." The man replies, "Alright, I have another one. You're down $12,500. I'll bet you $15,000, if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room, I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere." The agent says, "That's impossible, you've got a deal." The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk, and the agent says, "I got you!" He's laughing and happy that he finally beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face, and the agent asked, "What's wrong with you?" and the lawyer replies, "The man bet me $100,000 he could piss on your desk, and you'd just love it."

  • 2
  • People

  • What type of people think rape jokes are funny?

    Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂

  • 6
  • Chat

  • "Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"

    Kenya

  • Dear Kenya, love of life,

    Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

    Love you a million times more!

    Friend

  • To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

    Room

  • I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

  • 3
  • Tongue

  • I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

  • 0
  • Father

  • A father awaits the birth of his first child.

    The obstetrician says, "Unfortunately, he has no arms."

    The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

    But the obstetrician adds, "It is also without legs, trunk, head."

    The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

    Then the obstetrician confessed to him, "I'm sorry, but only this ear was born."

    The father says, "I'll love it all the same."

    And the obstetrician says, "Talk to him closer: he's deaf!"

  • 1