Look jokes

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.

He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.

What did the coal say to the charcoal?

You look pretty coal! 🤣

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.

Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.

Bro, are you an Oompa Loompa? Because you look like you just came from the chocolate factory.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

What’s the difference between 69 and High School?

In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.