Longing jokes

Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.

It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.

As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.

What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?

They both don’t work.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

How long was the owl trick or treating?

Owl night long!

For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!

Why do orphans look at a house for so long?

'Cause they never had one.

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?

He’s just Biden his time.

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.