Longer jokes
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
One day I was very happy. I managed to win the lottery and receive a free vacation trip to Saudi Arabia!
Everything was going well until suddenly the FRAUD appeared! It was him, PRISTIANO PENALDO! He dived toward me and grabbed my lottery ticket. I asked him why he is doing this, only for him to reply "I need trip to Saudi Arabia to statpad the PENS!" as he dived back through my window.
Shame on you for stealing my vacation and ruining my day! You are no longer my Idol Pristianooooo!
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So, she gets a divorce.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
My penis is longer than one inch.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?