Knock Knock! Who’s their? It’s Dave! Dave Who? *Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway

What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer… than the men who mention it.

What’s the difference between England and a tea bag? – The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

“Knock Knock!” “Who’s there?” “It’s Dave!”

“Dave who?”

Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney…his names no longer Santa. It’s crisp cringle. Pls send help :).

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him

I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? “I don’t wanna go to disneyland, I wanna live longer.”

Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play monopoly?

How do you think Princess Diana died?

…Too soon?

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

my phone battery last longer then your relasionships

  1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

  2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.

  3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet it is a shame he could not create a longer lasting battery.

Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood. Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.

Ho Ho Ho, what do you want for Christmas little boy. Longer than 2 months to live.

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it, and shouts “I love my country!”, Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, “I love my country”, finally the Iraqi man drops a bomb, and shouts, “I love my country!”

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, “What’s so funny?” And the boy says “When I farted my house blew up!”

Why does it take longer for women to orgasim than men?

Who cares.

Here are some skeleton jokes
You know the average person tries to hard and works himself to the bone If that joke didn’t tickle your funny bone i can give you a real humerous joke I used to play the trumpet now i play the xylo-bone im always happy nothing gets under my skin I made you some turkey for lunch Bone appetit Im glad i had you im no longer bonely Ive got a skele-ton of more jokes but i’m just giving you one more Did you hear about the skeleton ninja he was very skullful (skillful)

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