Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I went to the shooting range the other day after a while I realized I was the only one there so I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene, man I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Q.What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
I laugh when I realized that my suicide letter is way more longer than my sibling's college essay.
Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him
What is the difference between Putin and Hilter. Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free
So Santa fell down the chimney but it was a lit chimney...his names no longer Santa. It's crisp cringle. Pls send help :).
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to disneyland, I wanna live longer."
i am no longer anonymous
my battery lasted longer than your sad depressing life
