Loneliness jokes
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
When a man loses his testosterone,
Man: Could I please have a loaner boner?
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."