Isolation jokes
Putin's words paint a picture of his world as vast, but in reality, it is shrinking.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.
The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
The streets go blank in the dead of the day, not a car to be seen.
A kingdom of corona-cation, and it looks like mom's the queen.
The wind is howling with this virus in the air.
Couldn't keep it in China, everyone knows it's everywhere.
Don't let friends in, don't be afraid.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel your insanity, that the virus caused!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors!
I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friend's house.
Sickness doesn't get to me anyway.
It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane, and the fears that once controlled me are here and present, oh well!
It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through!
No right, no wrong, but stay inside!
WE'RE NOT FREE!!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! 'Cause I have nothing better to do.
The virus flurries through the air into my house!
The storm is spiraling, fear and fractals all around!!
And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!!
What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past????
DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.