There is thin line between death and life !! You won't live to see it .....
The Cardiogram will !!
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
what room does a ghost not want to be in?
the living room
Advertisement: What's in your wallet? Me: The same amount of money as there is my will to live... ;_)
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
Update: I got banned from BIGO Live
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Doctor: you don't have long to live. 10... Patient: ten what? ten years, ten months? Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Me and my brother where called the twin towers, my brother lived up to his title after the plane crash
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. -- That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
3 men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live, only if they could achieve one thing. They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each. The first person returned with apples, the leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1....2 he screamed. The next person came back with grapes, 1,2,3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing, he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well, "well i saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples"
Who is the man behind all lives matter?
Michael jackson
My doctor said "you have 1year to live"
I said " you wanna bet"
Bam a gun shot
. why cant depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.. . why cant orphans play baseball, Because they cant find home! . a serial killer was at my house all killed all my family but me why, i was in the living room.. . what do sloths and depressed have in common, they both hang off trees.. . what is a group of depressed kids called, the suicide squad
