Living jokes
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
I remember you. You used to be an ash.
I would love to roast you more, but my mom said to not burn trash.
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
Why are most school shooters mostly white?
Because Black lives MATTER.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.