Living jokes
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
Why are most school shooters mostly white?
Because Black lives MATTER.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.
Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.
And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.
Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.