When they say you live by the sword you die by the sword, not in Paul Walkers case he lived by the car died by a tree well I guess the car was stumped
I'm back on BIGO Live
The doctor and said he had good news and bad news. The Good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is I forgot to call you yesterday.
Kenny's favourite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spen the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst."
ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor
mmmm bread I love panera bread This is unrelated but where i live there is no panera bread Yknow what thats called:
No panera bread
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
Where does a French cat live? -in Purr-is OR -in the Catacombs OR -in a chat-eau
Why are Mexicans so bad in the olympics? Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life
if I don't find a reason to live soon my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes , I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse. They can stay in their living room.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug" you are letting it slowly die.
Did u know a erasor on a pencil slowly dies of your mistakes and did u know your actually supposed to live for 25 min but every time u breath resets time
Why do orphans live in a orphanage
Answer: because they are wanted there
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
