Line jokes

Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.

Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?

What do maths and 9/11 have in common?

They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.

What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.

The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat.

this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?

Hitting it off with a cricket bat.

I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.

Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?

A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.

Read the next line.

Read the previous line.

What was the computer's best pickup line?

Nice bits!

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?

Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

“No, this is the rink manager!”