Line jokes
A son asked his mom: "Why are the lines in the LGBTQ community flag straight?"
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Rizz.
Are you a dinosaur? Because I want to blow you up.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Are you lightning?
Because you're McQueen.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫