Line jokes

Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.

Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"

How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...

Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.

There are 206 bones in my body.

When I look at you, it becomes 207.

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

My d*ck is hard, what's your name?

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?

The lines on the pride flag look pretty straight to me!

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?

What’s ten feet long and bald?

The conga line in the cancer ward.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.