Like jokes

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.

I don’t like the term "rape," I prefer: "struggle snuggle."

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

I want coffee like my men.

Dark.

If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?

Because they like to EAT FLESH.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.

Like if you hate going to school.