Like jokes

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.

I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.

When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".

I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!

I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.

(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)

(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)

(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.

I want coffee like my men.

Dark.

If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?

Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?

Because they like to EAT FLESH.

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

Roses are red, just like your lips.

Mountains are big, just like your tits.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

Like if you hate going to school.

In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.

Like if you meet someone emo.

Like if you wanna have sex.

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"