Like jokes

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."

What kind of dogs do miners like best?

Golden retrievers, haha, get it?

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?

... she likes to rock and roll lol.

What do you call lesbian twins?

Lick-A-Likes.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

How are gay people like mice?

They both hate pussies.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.

Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.

Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

Why are emos like paper?

They cut easily.

Do you like CDs?

There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."