Like Jokes

See, morbid humour is just like water, not everyone gets it.

I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing but one sounds like a threat

(Titanic walks into a bar) (britannic) what would you like to drink (Titanic) a ICEBERG.

What spider-man movie does a orphan like, homecoming.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

This song is sus Because I’m happy CLAP along if u fell like happiness is the root What are u clapping

I DIDNT FART MY ASS LIKES YOU SO MUCH IT JUST BLEW YOU A KISS!

How are tinder and orphans alike?

You swipe left till you find the one you like

A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."

I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't

Would you like to eat some African food?

So would they....

I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on a floor But only for like twenty seconds

Im treated like god when im home, im usually ignored until someone wants something.

An american is touring the Soviet union. A russian takes him to a school so he can see what its like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The american asks whats wrong and he cries "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

you like to draw? bc I like the m d, raw :)