What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?
Anonymouse.
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.