Like jokes
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
Why does Megan sound like a man, but she is a good singer and rapper, but then people talk about her? What's y'all rapper are singer?
Why is Technoblade allowed to make jokes about orphans?
'Cause he's dead like their parents!
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
I like to drown in a pool.
I mean billiards...
What does a cheetah like to eat? Fast food, lol!
White people be like, "Less bomb Ukraines hospitals and schools!"
Hahaha, dumb white people!
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.