Like jokes

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.

You're so ugly that when The Oh Hellos saw you, they were like "Oh Bye!"

When you say to your dad...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Dad be like...

Who wants my son?

Nan be like, "Me!"

Kid be like...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!

What are roux, says nan?

Um, they're your life savings!

Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"

What does a peeing pterodactyl sound like?

Nothing, the pee is silent.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.

McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"

My wife treats me like God!

She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.

My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.

What does an Asian doorbell sound like?

"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"

I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Boys are like minis.

Girls are like big pots.

Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)

I like pie.

I would like to say that Jace, I disagree with you a lot, and I think you’re a very delusional person.

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.