Like jokes

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?

Anonymouse.

What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.

I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

I found this game, it's like flappy bird: https://terrorist.group/

My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.