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Wine

    • Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

    Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

    Lady: "No, officer."

    Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

    Lady: "Just water, officer."

    Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

    Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

  • 4

    • Mother

    • My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

  • 0
    • Like memes

    Time

    • I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

  • 1

    • Soap

    • So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

  • 6

    • Part

    • Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.

    Butt

    • How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

    Timmy

    • Bully: "Hey little Timmy, you look like an ugly rat."

    Timmy: "Well, at least I'm a good chef and I'm in a movie, unlike you."

    Bully: Dies from embarrassment. 😱

  • 1

    • Shooter

    • The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

    "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

    Marshmallow

    • Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.