Like jokes

Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?

Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

Imagine if this got over 69 likes! Wow! 🤩 🇫🇷

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!

I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?

I hear it hurt like hell.

@everyone.. what's so funny is that JIT thinks he's so "cool" and that everyone is "amazed" about him hating on people who is wayyy above him on the roster.

The pathetic part is that he hates on everyone else's family and relationships when 100% of us have a WAYY better one than he will ever deserve. He was born pathetic, and will die pathetic. So JIT, please tell me what it's like to be such a coward?

What do you say to a depressed person?

"I like ya cut, G."

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.

So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"

The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

How are gay people like mice?

They both hate pussies.

Orphans don't have parents!!1! ahahahaha ahahaha plz like and subscribe and hit that bell icon #logang #imagamerpersonwedontfuckwiththegenderbinary #wedontfuckingeneral #nofilter #rememberifyousubscribethenisubscribeback

You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.

A girl goes to a Church to confess.

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

(after a few minutes)

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌

Vote for the better joke!

Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?

My friend: What?

Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”