Like

Like jokes

Girlfriend

I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?

Dad

I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."

Poem

In Mia's world, where bottles and parrots meet, A whimsical symphony takes its seat.

With feathers ablaze, the parrots take flight, Their vibrant hues painting the day with delight.

Mia, a dreamer with a heart full of glee, Embraces the beauty for all to see.

Her bottles, like whispers of stories untold, Capture the magic that time cannot hold.

Each bottle, a vessel of dreams and desires, Unveiling the soul's deepest fires.

They dance in the sunlight, sparkle and gleam, A kaleidoscope of colors in Mia's dream.

Parrots, enchanting with melodies rare, Sing ballads of love, floating through the air.

Their voices, like echoes of nature's sweet call, Enchanting all hearts, big and small.

Mia, with reverence, sets the parrots free, To soar across oceans, to distant lands and seas.

In their freedom, they find their truest grace, A testament to love's boundless space.

And as Mia's bottles journey afar, They carry her dreams, like a guiding star.

Through mountains and valleys, they'll forever roam, In the hearts of dreamers, they'll always find home.

Memes

Porn

I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }

I like to watch porn too ;)

Difference

What is the difference between underaged privileged children with bone cancer and you?

I like you!

Skunk

I love to smell skunks, but I lick their stinky butt. It's delicious. My breath smells like fart.

Shotgun

Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?

Marshmallow

Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.

Donald Trump

Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?

He's white on the inside.

He's orange on the outside.

And then there's that stick!

People

Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.

Train

Man: Die, potato!

Potato: *screams*

I like trains.

Kid: I like trains.

Man: No, wait!

Train: *kills man*