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Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
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Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!
The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.
Muslim furries like goats.
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
I like my women like I like my eggs.
Beaten against a table until her insides come out.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
This joke is short... like your dick!
Keira likes massive, juicy, insanely big cock!
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
I like peanut butter and honey.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
Like this joke. Ur mom.