Like jokes
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "πβΌβ ββΌβ β‘βπ π§ββΌββππ§ βΌββββ β βπβ"
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: βWrapβ music.
Like wtf
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
I like my cigars like I like my women:
Seven years old coming from Cuba in a burlap sack.
Roses are red,
foxes are red,
I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you shouldβve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out πππππ±
What is the difference between underaged privileged children with bone cancer and you?
I like you!
What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?
Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!
Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).
Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
Why donβt I like shafting?
It feels squishy.