Like jokes

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"

Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.

Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.

The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"

Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.

Doctor: Yup.

Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.

Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

Like this joke. Ur mom.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.

So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"

The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."

Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."

Trashy pig woman: "Why?"

Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...

#i stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

I like women's rights "jokes" because they're all facts.

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.

House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.

Daughter: Dad.

Dad: Yes honey?

Daughter: I'm lesbian.

Dad: Ok.

Daughter 2: Dad.

Dad: Yes?

Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.

Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?

Son: I do...