Like jokes
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
Why don’t clams like to share?
Because they’re very shellfish.
Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.
You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."
...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."