Like jokes

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.

Make this the most liked post.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?

They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.

Like if you hate going to school.

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes and comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!

So I have been looking at all your jokes, and UHHHHHH has not been the nicest. I don't really love the words she is choosing, but I'm not going to let her get in my head. :)

So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D

Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

Why do orphans like stealing things?

They wanted to have company.

A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.

Why are women like diapers?

They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.

What's an old Japanese man's last words?

"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"

Bunger got me like:

😂 Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org › face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

Lemme tell you a little story.

It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow… then faster.

So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

And finally… you peel back the last plank.

And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

BOOOOOOO!!!!

It’s Anne Frank.

Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...

Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

Your birth certificate is like an apology from the condom factory...