Like jokes
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Trying to make jokes in 2020-2021 be like:
Comedian: "When she went in front of the TV, it took an hour till you could see the screen again."
Audience: "Why you gotta be so offensive?"
Comedian: "I'm not tr-"
Audience: "Oh, so now you're trying to debate?"
Comedian: "I-"
Audience: "Now you're acting racist?!"
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
"Akeld" sounds like a 56-year-old man just picking on kids for no reason. I say, get a life!
I like zebras.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
Charlotte looks like a sperm.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
So, a person walked into a shop.
Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."
This is REALLY funny.
Please upvote, comment, and like.
Thank you very much.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
I only trust people that like big butts... they cannot lie.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.