Like jokes
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.
One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.
Carly (π): What a beautiful day, huh?
Bianca (π): Yes, for you it is.
Carly (π): What's wrong?
Bianca (π): Nothing, nothing at all...
Carly (π ): Don't lie to me...
Carly (π€): Hmmm... Jordan???
Carly (π): Because if so, I can take him out like this...
Bianca (πππ): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!
Carly (π ): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!
Bianca (π): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.
Carly (π): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...
Bianca (π): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!
Sy'kyira (π): I can't wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (π): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy'kyira (π ): SAME!!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (π): I know, right?
Iβd like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
Yo forehead so big you look like Aeri.
POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.
Why is Ronnie Anne like Lincoln? Because he is a softy about everything.
Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?
She is the only one that calls me "lamo."
Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Jorden CalerendiΓ‘.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.