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My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Little Johnny is smokin' hard, The sun looks like Mountain Dew.

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.