Light jokes
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?" God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
How many babies does it take to light up a basement? I don't know, my basement is still dark.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.
Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.
My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.
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I encountered a milf at a bar last night. Although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy.
We were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time.
Then, she asked me flirtatiously,
"Have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"
I said, "Nope, not yet."
She drank a little more, and said, "Well, darling, tonight is your lucky night."
So she took me to her place.
She took out her keys, opens her door, turns on the light, and she yells towards upstairs,
"Mom, are you still awake?"