Lifestyle jokes
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
You live in the airport.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
Why do emo kids not like trees? They always leave them hanging.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
What is an emo's favorite game? Hangman.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.