Lifestyle jokes
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?