You look too old to be living with your grandma.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios? Fruit Loops
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
