What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
What do you call an emo with curly hair?
Sam Reid.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
