Lifestyle jokes
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?
Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.
What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?
Rap lovers get more pussy.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
What's an emo's favorite part about being dunked?
The hangover.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.