Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
End everything and your life, Steven Roca!
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
We forge the chains we wear in life.
