Life jokes
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What hates men but would have no life without men?
A triggered feminist.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.