Life jokes

Why did the mailman die?

Because everyone dies.

Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."

This joke never gets old. Just like the child.

What hates men but would have no life without men?

A triggered feminist.

"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹

Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.

Disappointing.

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.

The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.

Why do your orphans not drink beer?

Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he doesn't have parents.

Who does an orphan play soccer with?

No one.

Man dies.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

I took a sip of water.

A B C D E F G.

Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!