Life jokes
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
Your PP is small, just like my will to live.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
My life.
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
Dear Gwen, you are not a faker, nor liar, nor loser!
And the people that are bothering you are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt yourself because of these comments, to be honest, you're really nice, kind, and mannered! There are more kind people than mean people, and I am one of them! Just live your life and ignore Liv and the unknown guy, which is named Greg! No need for all this drama!
Best, Tenya Bailey.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
My dick is longer than your life.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.