Life

Life jokes

Grandpa

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

Baby

What's the difference between a baby and a ball?

If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.

News

After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”

Kid

What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?

They never get old.

Study

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

Abortion

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Orphan

Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?

What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?

Cancer

Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."

This joke never gets old. Just like the child.