I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.
"I swear I'm the real Gwen! I swear on my life!"
Friend: What goes up but not down?
You: Your age.
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
What's the cruelest joke?
Life.
Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.
I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.
I'm going to leave now, so bye.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
