Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
Life Jokes
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
Dear Gwen, you are not a faker, nor liar, nor loser!
And the people that are bothering you are just dumb, stupid, bored, and need to get a fricking life instead! Don't hurt yourself because of these comments, to be honest, you're really nice, kind, and mannered! There are more kind people than mean people, and I am one of them! Just live your life and ignore Liv and the unknown guy, which is named Greg! No need for all this drama!
Best, Tenya Bailey.
I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
My dick is longer than your life.
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..
There is none.
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
