Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
ill unplug your life support for my phone thats about to die
What do u call a pig that dose Karate
not a joke? more like not an existing organism in life.
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
I air.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
Everything.
Life.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
I'm the joke, bitch.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.
