Life

Life jokes

Orphan

Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Sorry.

Suicide

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

Orphan

Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.

Guy: Where are they then?

Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].

Orphan

One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, β€œYeah, what gave me away?” I said, β€œHis parents.”

Orphan

Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."

There is no family.

Potato

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

Cigarette

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

Woman

I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.

Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Death

Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"

Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."

Question

Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.

Orphan

Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

Orphan

April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.

Orphan: Where... Oh.

Coffee

People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.