Life jokes
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! πππππ Sorry.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, βYeah, what gave me away?β I said, βHis parents.β
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?
"Lonely."
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
Hope everyone is having a good day! β€οΈ
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
I don't trust anything that bleeds for more than 5 days and is still alive.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
April Fool's Day: Go tell an orphan their parents are back.
Orphan: Where... Oh.
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?