Life jokes

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To because he wanted to find home >:D

What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?

They can both be replaced.

Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?

Answer: Love.

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?

"Full House".

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:

"What advice do you have for people out there?"

As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?

I don’t have a life.

Why do orphans hate dad jokes? They never return.

What is the other word for an orphan?

Paren't.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.