Life jokes
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
Work
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...
Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)
The secrets of life.
Mac & Cheese.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."
There is no family.