Life jokes
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.
Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.
His life.
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."
God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."
-Al Nassr owner
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Yo life.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?