Life jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?

I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

What has 2 arms but no legs?

A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.

What’s the difference between milk and the air?

At least the air will always be there for me.

Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"

When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"

What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

What do emos do?

Hang.

Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...

I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...

He could have married her!

What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?

House of Pain—"Jump Around."