Life Jokes

A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words. The man says: “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”

Life's a bitch and then you die. I now see what they mean.

what can you say about that homeless man's life and current status? Wasted.

I've been looking for my parents for years.for the life of me I can't remember where I hid their bodies

Dad: Ill pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie Next day: Dad: son what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen? Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life gosh dad your embarrassing. The dad sulked for 3 whole years Proof that words really can hurt

the circular saw asked the chainsaw,"When am I as big as you?" the chainsaw would answer with,"When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner." the circular saw would reply with,"What?"

my best opinion: when life goes to hell you just go down with it

Ok the time as come... I am finally leaving this wepsite so yea. Im going to enjoy my life so yea. Im going to leave now so bye.

whats the cruelest joke? Life

Why do orphans like the game adopt me because they've never been adopted in their life

I SWEAR I'M THE REAL GWEN! I SWEAR ON MY LIFE!

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are litteraly ruining my life right now. And I can literaly not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please please stop.

I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.

I told my sister that when you got to bed with an itchy but your going to have smelly fingers in the morning and i've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.