Life

Life jokes

Houdini

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

Friend

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

Memes

Cow

Me when I know its my last day of being a cow and I already hate my life

A close-up photo of a brown and white cow with a wide smile, standing in a grassy field against a clear blue sky.

Job

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?

He was trying to get ahead in life.

Grass

How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

Rule

The 3 life rules:

1.

2.

3.

Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.

Onion

What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?

You cry when you cut an onion.

Orphan

Why are orphans lucky?

Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.

God

Me: Wanna hear a joke?

Person: Sure.

Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

Person: Dear God...

Orphan

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

Calendar

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!

Orphan

What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.

Flirt

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.