Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
How to not exist: Kys.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
His life.
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
