Life jokes
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
Why is life like penises?
Women make it hard.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Joke: Tori’s boyfriend's life 😂😂
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
I can’t wait for collage....
5 min later, ight I’m gonna go kill myself.