Life jokes
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
My sexlife xddddddddd
Go touch some grass, bro.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*
Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.
Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Dead.
What does an orphan call home?
Nothing. 🤣
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common? They will both die eventually.
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.