Life jokes

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

Why couldn’t the orphan find home?

Didn’t have eyes.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.

You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Why can't an orphan play basketball?

Because no one will be cheering them on.

How do you know someone has Down syndrome?

They're doing better than you.

I hope Death is a woman.

That way, it will never come for me.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

Why does an orphan play GTA?

To get wanted.

Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.

Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"