A cow went into a pride of lions' territory.
Since that moment, he knew his life was on the stake.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
Death once had a near chuck experience.
your life ahhahaha
Make a wish Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life
Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
if trump was a orphan I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
Nobody
Literally nobody
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
When I go to weddings old people will tell me I'm next but when I go to funerals I tell old people they're next.
Don't flirt when there is life alert! Edna: Hey there big boy! Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
these jokes make me want to die
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
submit a joke :-) ur love life
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
