Life jokes
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
What is life?
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
My sex life.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
My will to live.
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
BOB: Wanna know a joke?
LILLY: What? Your hat?
BOB: No, my life :'(
I really hate waiting to die... It's taking a lifetime.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.