Life jokes

Louie's parents tried this.

Oliver Savage's life.

Louie being born.

It's a RUF life in Africa.

We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.

What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?

I don't know. I suffocated at birth.

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?

Aaron with a rope.

Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?

To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!

What is life?

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

Josh: Tell me something funny.

Mark: My life.

My sex life.

What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?

That I will never get old.

My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!

My will to live.

The world's funniest joke? Your life.