Let jokes
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
What song is sung when conceiving?
"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"
Why is something orphans can never say?
"Let's go home."
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
In the realm of words, I shall embark, To craft a verse, both bold and stark, Thomas Bulgin, a name that ignites, A tale of length and moist delights.
Free from the chains of structured rhyme, I wander through this realm, sublime, Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so strange, Evoking thoughts that rearrange.
Long, it stretches, like a winding road, Leading us to depths, yet to be bestowed, In syllables, it dances and it plays, A journey we embark, in myriad ways.
Moist, a word that teems with life, A touch of nature, amidst the strife, It whispers of raindrops on tender leaves, Of dew-kissed petals and gentle heaves.
Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so surreal, Unleashing emotions, that time cannot seal, In this short verse, I strive to convey, A glimpse of what these words might say.
So let us ponder, the mystery untold, Of Thomas Bulgin, both long and bold, For in the realm of poetry's sweet embrace, Even the unusual finds its rightful place.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
Dora, where do we go next?
Kids at home: Area 51.
Meanwhile,
Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.
1 day later,
Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!
Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"